We are all mom enough!!!

Remember this cover?

If you don’t then you must have hidden under a rock or your head must have been in the clouds!!!

When this cover hit newsstands the publicity that surrounded it was insane! This cover was splattered all over the news, blogs, magazines etc. You name it, they were talking about it. I even fed into the hype and bought the over expensive minimal reading magazine. I too wanted to see what the big deal was.

Then it hit me. Everyone is judging this mom and moms a-like who choose to be ”different”,  ”crunchy” , “granola”, “whatever you want to categorize them outside the norm mothers” who co-sleep, babywear and breast feed their children until they (their children) ween themselves. I have written about being judged before and how mean some moms are. I call those judgedy moms the “mommy bitch”. I do so because as moms we should  relish in our commonalities, stresses, blessings, failures and successes about mothering children.. We should feel that we are more alike than different because we have endured so much to make sure that our children are happy and healthy. At the end of the day it shouldn’t matter HOW we parent but WHO are children are and will become.

To me there was no worse pain and hurt then being judged by other moms about my inability to breast feed my child. When I was pregnant there was no doubt in my mind that we would encounter any issues. In fact, I didn’t even buy a bottle or a breast pump because in my mind I had no need for them. I was going to breast feed my baby. The end.

But then we had issues. Horrible issues. She couldn’t latch. She was losing weight. We had to finger feed her for a month with formula. I was using pills to increase my milk supply. I was pumping way too much for my liking (I felt like a total cow). My nipples were cracked and bleeding. Each boob was the size of a watermelon (FACT).  Feeding would take over an hour. Pumping would supply no more than 2 ounces out of both sides combined at the end of a 20 minute pumping session. I saw lactation consultants. Nothing worked. Then after weeks and weeks something clicked and we were on the up and up. Then the pain started. Shooting pain. I thought I was going to die. Every feed killed me more and more. They figured out that Princess Peach was flicking her tongue and there was nothing to do. Keep trying. Push through it. But I couldn’t. I was in so much pain. She wasn’t feeding properly. So after the hardest 7 weeks of my life I called it quits.

My breasts would now belong to me, alone. They needed a break and had to recuperate from the immense weeks of pain and trauma.

Princess Peach on the other hand took a bottle full-time with no issues. She was a much happier baby being formula fed.

The first few weeks I was devastated. At classes I felt that she knew that her friends were being breastfed and that she was being bottle fed. I thought maybe at 9 weeks of age she knew that her friends didn’t get a bottle. I felt guilty. Horrible guilt. I started to think that maybe I didn’t try hard enough. That I should have sought more help.

Then the questions started. But not questions out of caring and love. They were inquiring moms who were clearly judging me for bottle feeding while they were standing/sitting in front of me. After a week or two I no longer gave the mom my schpeel about why I was bottle feeding because the reality of the situation was that they didn’t care. I felt a stigma that Princess Peach was missing out because she was being formula fed.

As the months and weeks went by and Princess Peach grew, The Hubster and I both agreed that I made the right decision. Princess Peach was thriving beyond our imagination. She was hitting all of her milestones early and she was happy. And her happiness ment the world to us.

I got over the moms judging me. Sure, it hurt.  I still does sometimes.  I still carry a little guilt that I wasn’t successful at breastfeeding with me and probably will forever.

But at the end of the day when I’m cuddling Princess Peach I know that I am mom enough for the choices I have made and so are you.


P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog! Just enter your email address in the pink box to the side and every time I update it will come right to your inbox :)



  1. Natalie says:

    Great post! I know exactly what you’re talking about… I went through the same for the first 6 weeks while i was having trouble. Luckily for me things ended up working out but I hated that feeling of being judged. It’s nobody’s business!

    Isn’t it funny that now I’m being judged for still breast feeding? I’m constantly bombarded with questions like “you’re still breastfeeding?” and “how much longer do you actually plan to do that for?” and “don’t you think it’s time to wean?”. My baby isn’t even a year old yet…but so what if he were?

    People need to &$@% off and worry about their own business.

    • mscmommylife says:

      Thanks for your comment Natalie! People do need to mind their own business and leave us alone to make our own decisions!

  2. Sarah says:

    I agree – great post!

    My milk didn’t come in properly and my baby wasn’t gaining weight quick enough either, so we had to spoon feed her formula. Then I spent a day in the hospital, and not knowing that would happen, I hadn’t prepared a bunch of bottles of breastmilk for her. After that, she prefered the formula because it filled her tummy. She was a much happier baby AND gaining weight. A huge part of me was relieved that she was thriving, and I was fine as long as she was happy and healthy. I was also relieved that I could have my body back and that my nipples would no longer bleed!

    I can’t believe how much people judge a mom on whether or not they breastfeed. It’s really no one’s business on how you decide to feed your baby and when you decide to wean them.

    It’s double insulting to me when people disapprove that my daughter is formula-fed because *I* was formula-fed. So not only are they insulting my choice but they are insulting my Mom’s as well…and making it seem like I missed out on something or should be some sort of freak for not being breastfed.

  3. mscmommylife says:

    Sarah, I agree about being bottle fed! My mom breastfed me fulltime only for 3 months and after that I was bottle fed. I turned out ok! I have actually have had a few conversations with people about societies changing views about breastfeeding/bottlefeeding and how it has changed since we were born. We all turned out ok and I’m sure whatever we decide our kids will turn out ok too :)

  4. Great post, Renee! People are crazy, aren’t they? I have my views about things…kids/religion/politics/relationships…but I’m well aware that it’s not my job to tell anyone what my views are unless they ask for my opinion. (My husband is the exception. He gets an earful, solicited or not.) But I do wish other people (fellow Moms, friends, siblings, parents, neighbors, in-laws) would subscribe to that same logic. No reason to insert yourself in somebody else’s business when it’s really…well, none of your business.

    I have four sons. When I was pregnant with my 3rd son, an older woman who has no children approached me at a wedding. She looked at my pregnant belly and said, “My God, again?! Are you ever going to stop getting pregnant?!” I smiled and replied, “Nope. I can’t help myself. The sex is just too damn good.” My Dad was appalled at my reply. My Mom thought it was hilarious. And warranted. I’m going with Mom on this one.

    • mscmommylife says:

      Thanks Bethany!!! It’s amazing once you have a child the amount of comments and input into your life/parenting/choices etc that people are so willing to provide. It’s so annoying to say the least!
      I love your comment about having four kids! I agree with you and your mom too! I would have loved to have seen the look one the womans face :)

Leave a Reply