Identity Theft

My identity hasn’t been “stolen” but it has definitely been misplaced.  Misplaced. Maybe pushed to the side and forgotten about as being MOM has become my entire identity. 100%.

Over the summer when I was still on mat leave I had many awkward conversations when I met new people. And as conversation go when you meet new people they always ask what you do. Here’s a conversation I had with someone:

Them: So what do you do?

Me: I’m on mat leave. Pause. Pause. Uncomfortable silence. So I’m a mom to a baby. But before that I was a behavioural therapist. I work with children who have autism. And I’m a teacher. Pause. Pause. Looking confused. So I guess I’m a teacher? I got a new job. I go back to work in September.

Then I get all flustered. And feel stupid.

Recently The Hubster and I were talking. I had to fill something out and it asked what my hobbies were. I sat there. Puzzled. Thinking. What the hell are my hobbies?! Playing with a baby? Sorry, that’s not a hobby. Try again. Being a mom? Nope, not a hobby. Looking up fun recipes? Nope, not a hobby and nothing that could help me anywhere besides at the dinner table. Gangnam Style Dancing with Princess Peach? That’s a hobby but one that only lasts for 4 minutes and 37 seconds! Playing on Pinterest? More a time filler or waster than a hobby. Blogging? Guess it’s a hobby. But what happened to all of my other hobbies?

Prior to baby I used to be busy. Busy with ME. Busy with my friends. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy being busy with baby but I miss being busy with me. I do get to work out sometimes. I’m a part of a great workout group and the ladies are lovely so that’s an enjoyable hour for me. But that’s not really considered a hobby. And I don’t workout enough to consider it a hobby.

I use to play sports, go see movies, just hang around with friends, go out for dinner, read books, watch an insane amount of reality T.V., aimlessly wanders malls and shop. I miss those days. I’m not saying that I don’t love being a mom and love my new role but I think I need balance.

Maybe I need to redefine myself. Figure out some new things that I like to do. I always wanted to learn to play the guitar. And knit. I’ve always wanted to knit something. Not like how I use to knit with my grandmother. But actually like an article of clothing or a blanket. Maybe I’ll take a knitting course.

I thought that going back to work would get the three of us into a routine. As of yet it hasn’t. More like survival mode. I was hoping it would free up some spare time for me to find some new hobbies. I doubt it will happen, but I’d like to think it will. And through that I will find part of my identity. I’m very proud of my identity of being a mom, especially to Princess Peach. That is one identity I will never lose.

Have you lost your hobbies once baby came? Did you have a hard time trying to find yourself within all of your different roles?



  1. jnine0712 says:

    Renee, I could have written this. It is hard being a mother and juggling your other roles in life, too. I can totally relate and even after 3 years of having my first and almost 2 years of having my second I just can’t help, but still have my moments of having trouble doing it all and having my own hobbies. Guess it just comes with the territory.

  2. lindy says:

    here’s one for you, how about “superstar blogger”. xo

  3. Blogging is pretty much my only hobby now too…

  4. Libby says:

    Yes! Finding yourself again after having a baby is so diffiicult and does take work. Recently I went to the mall by myself and it felt like a vacation!

  5. Tamar says:

    I’m with you, and if it feels any better, just knowing there are other mother’s out there feeling the same way is kind of a comfort. When I realize I’m not alone and I surrender to the reality of a messy house, piles of laundry, and less time for myself somehow I feel better, but mainly because now I know that this is normal. And in the new normal I’ll have to create the life that makes me feel whole. Thank you for sharing this and keep doing what you love, being an awesome mom, blogging, gangnam style dancing, whatever makes you happy…in the end I’m pretty sure few of us would actually go back to the life we had before, as tough as it is, bringing up our good little human beings makes the world a better place and makes my heart swell with joy 🙂

    • mscmommylife says:

      Thanks for your comment Tamar. I agree that I wouldn’t want my old life back at all. Princess Peach is a true blessing and makes our lives complete. That being said it does take lots of time to figure out who you are post baby and finding a new normal and I know eventually our new normal won’t be shocking…it will just become our life!

  6. I’m still trying to figure out who I am and what my hobbies are 4 years after having my first child! HA HA HA. My kids are my hobbies, blogging, making food into funny shapes so meal time is fun etc has replaced movie nights, coffee dates and shopping sprees. It’s difficult to make some “me” time and although all the experts say you need to do it… I don’t know. I’m OK with focusing my energy on my husband and my kids

    • mscmommylife says:

      Cheryl, it’s hard to find me time and often I agree that I WANT to spend my me time with Princess Peach. It’s hard to find a balance for me and I am OK with focusing my energy on my family sometimes I miss my hobbies (when I have time to miss them!).

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