Lets talk about the F$&*$#g Fours!

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She’s cute. She stands about 3 and a half feet tall. She has red hair and piercing blue eyes. She loves to dance, create art and has an amazing imagination. She likes Taylor Swift, cooking and baking too. She is learning how to read, her favourite colour is “rainbow” and she believes the more glitter and sparkles the better. But………and it’s a HUGE but, at the drop of a hat all that cuteness can quickly disappear. Right before my very own eyes it’s as though my sweet child turns into a crazy person. She will threaten me, start to scream, cry and tantrum. She has even pushed and hit me before.

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Parenting in one hard gig. No one said it was going to be easy, right? I’ve now been at this parenting thing for 4.5 years so I think I have some wisdom to share. So here it goes……….

Why don’t people talk about the fucking fours?!

I don’t get it!

I feel like two-year olds get most of the attention with the terrible twos, but let me tell you, the terrible twos have nothing on a 4 year-old. I believe the struggle at this age is that they are trying to be independent people, but the truth is they still need us for lots of help! It makes sense, right? They are now in kindergarten doing things for themselves but most of them still can’t read, they can’t make meals, or do laundry or even tie their shoes for instance. Four year olds view themselves as grown up when they in fact are very small.

I often joke that 4 year-olds are like terrorists. You never know when they are going to strike! That makes me, the parent, the hostage negotiator. At any given moment they can be quiet and sweet and then POW, they throw a bomb at you. As the hostage negotiator parent, it is my job to calm her down so she don’t keep throwing bombs at you, over and over again. That part of the job is exhausting. How many times each and every day can you make deals?

And the thoughts that go through my head while this is all happening that I want to say, but can’t. That while this is all happening, I try my hardest to stay calm on the outside, while my blood is boiling on the inside. And as much as I try to be sympathetic and understanding to my 4 year-old terrorist, some days I just want to say “shut the fuck up! Do you know how lucky you are?” or “why are you embarrassing me like this?! Who are you right now?” So, I keep it all in and vent to my friends on the phone later in the day.

I know what you are thinking. She’s so cute. There is no way she could do that! Ya right?! Let me pick from my 1,000,000 examples and share with you some things Princess Peach has done. Here are some prime examples:

There was the time that she didn’t want to wear her gloves during winter while tobogganing. So she threw an epic tantrum. Screaming, crying, more screaming, more crying, yelling. It went on for about 45 minutes. Let me tell you how fun that was!

There was the time that we had to leave somewhere and she wasn’t listening so I took her by the hand to have her scream “Don’t touch me! Ouch, you are hurting me!”

Grabbing toys out of her brothers hands and then whacking him to get it back! Did she really just do that?

Making a massive mess. Like pulling every single toy they own out on the floor and then flat out refusing to clean it up because she’s tired. I’m sure you can guess how fun that interaction was.

The Hubster or I refusing to give her another treat after she’s had more than we ever give her in a given day!

Or the time that time that we refused to read ANOTHER book before bed. And a major tantrum ensued with massive crocodile tears. 

There are countless other stories that I can share about living with a 4 year-old terrorist. But I will save those for another time. I can’t wait until the 4′s are over even though I’m sure the 5′s will pose new and different challenges.

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But at the end of the day, no matter how difficult our day has been (and how much chocolate I have consumed), before I go to sleep I go into her room and kiss her one more time. My little terrorist looks so peaceful asleep that it’s hard to imagine that she can ever be so crazy. I hope and pray that tomorrow will be better and the fucking fours will soon be a thing of the past. Until……..Little Dude turns 4.

Comments

  1. Julia says:

    I have always believed that my daughter turned into the devil at 4. There were about 3 months where she was HORRIBLE! This was a child that sailed through her twos and threes with nary a tantrum to then completely lose her mind at 4.5 years old. To give you encouragement it lasted for a very short period of time and she is now a fabulous 16 year old.

  2. Oh God, that’s not reassuring! Well in a sense it is as we are not the only ones! Camille has turned in a little monster since last Friday, tantrum after tantrum… Not sure how long it will go for and I understand she has reasons to be upset with the change about to come in her life, but I am like you, at some times, my blood is boiling and I am ready to explode…

  3. mom2michael says:

    Yeah. The common lore is all about the terrible twos, but I’ve yet to meet an actual parent that thought 2 was the worst age. 4 really is the worst it gets, until the teen years. They have the language and more experience and a growing sense of independence. It’s quite the combination when they don’t yet know how to handle it. Hang in there momma!

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