Ordinary People doing Extraordinary Things- Jamie

 And I guess because I figured I got here on my own I didn’t like the name I was given I had every right to change it. I’m 22 years old and an oilfield mother with an almost 3-year-old little boy. Meaning my husband is gone for weeks at a time, right now we’re in the middle of a 5 week stint. So I play mom and dad most of the year. I chose this life, or it chose me, and as hard as it can be I wouldn’t trade my boys for anything. They’re literally all I’ve got.
Well i guess it starts with my conception. My father picked my soon to be “mother” up hitchhiking on his was home from University. She was running from a group home her mother had placed her in. I guess she felt some sort of safety net within my dad and wanted to have an eternal hold on him. She stopped taking the pill and 6 months later he married her. Another 3 months and I showed up on scene. I was put into daycare at 2 months old. My dad picked me up after working 10 hours. Then went home and cooked and cleaned. All while she made crafts. Another 6 months and abandoned and left by my “egg donor” (bio mother, I have a hard time calling her that.) when I was 9 months old. And her leaving my 19-year-old father with nothing except me. She cleaned out the house of anything she thought she could pawn, took his car and what little money he had. He raised me on his own until I was 10, those 9 years were the only stability I had as a child. Then he met his now wife, and wanted a different life for his new babies. I got shipped off to a relative who wanted me for every wrong reason. He did things that were very wrong. It took me a long time to realize that. I got good at blaming myself, I felt like a walking disaster. Someone that just attracted bad luck and bad energy and bad things. I then proceeded to jump onto the any guy that will love me train and got myself into another horrible situation. Eventually I got myself out. 

The day i met Austin the love of my life. Saved me. Changed me. The kindest soul I’ve ever met. My knight in shinning armor turned up when I needed him the most. When I’d all but given up. He was oily and wearing coveralls and steel toes. But it was love at first sight. He always says he knew how happy I could be if I just had love.

 I’ve been abandoned, neglected and abused more times in more ways than I care to admit. I suppose I’m who I am because of it all. To be honest to this day. I haven’t made peace with it all. It’s hard daily. I have triggers. I suffer from PTSD and Disassociative seizures. Hearing people complain about not seeing their mom for 2 months. Or she doesn’t visit enough. Or grandpa needs a break from my kids. Or just taking these people for granted. Being so ignorant and not even knowing. Honestly it’s still hard. There are so many days I wish I had her. I feel I need her. Then I remember how far I’ve gotten on my own. I have my own family now. And I can make it anywhere.  I’m only 22 but I’m 1000 times the woman she is. To this day she thinks what she did was OK. Justifies it. People make mistakes everyday. It’s if you learn from them that differentiates us.