It’s been pretty quiet on my blog this month but it isn’t without good reason. On Friday March 13, 2015, yes Friday the 13th I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Breast Cancer at 33. A mom of two young children. I found a lump and it turned out to be cancer. Ironically, today is April 1st and no, this isn’t an April Fools joke, I start chemotherapy.
When life hands you cancer at 33 (almost 34) with a young family it is totally devastating. I’m still often in shock that this is happening to me. My two grandmothers are still here and my mom is healthy and no one has had cancer in my immediate family. The thing I find most difficult is that now I’m considered a “sick person” even thought I don’t feel sick.
The last month has been crazy. In one month I went from getting a doctor to check a lump I found on my breast, to having an ultrasound, mammogram, and biopsy to being diagnosed with cancer and now starting chemotherapy. I feel like I’ve been a walking zombie trying to keep myself together for my family particularly Princess Peach and Little Dude. There are times that I feel I am dreaming and this isn’t true and that I’ll wake up and go on with my life. But sadly, that’s not the case for now.
Don’t get me wrong, my life isn’t ending (There were days that I thought I would die but all of my scans have come back clear!). Cancer will not defeat me. 2015 will suck because it’s the year of Cancer, but I can’t wait for all the fabulous things that 2016 will hold for me and my family.
My life now consists of frequent visits to the hospital and includes people who I never thought would be in my life such as a breast surgeon, a medical oncologist, a radiation oncologist to name just a few (seriously). I have had a battery of tests done- CT Scan, MRI, Bone Scan, blood work, Echocardiogram again just to name a few. Today I start chemo in hopes to shrink the tumor and treat my body systemically. Then I will undergo surgery and finally radiation.
CT Scan
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I’ve learned that I’m surrounded by an amazing village who has already offered me and my family so much support and I’m just at the start. I’m not going to name these wonderful people, but you know who you are. Your gestures have meant the world to me and have made a very difficult month much more tolerable.
There is no way that cancer is going to take over my life. To be honest, it’s a huge pain in the ass. I have a lot of living still to do, a lot of parenting still to do and goals, hopes and dreams still to accomplish. Cancer is putting some of those things on hold for a year but it will not rule this year. Cancer will not take away the person I am, the wife I am, the mother I am, the daughter I am, the sister I am, and the friend I am.
There is a saying that when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, when your life hands you cancer, you kick its ass. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
Renee, I believe you! Kick some ass!!! Love your outlook! Be strong and good!!! Hugs!
Thanks Karin!
Renee I am so sorry to hear such sad news. You are amazing for sharing this. You are a strong mom, wife, sister, daughter and friend. I know you already have a strong support network but if there is anything you need never hesitate to ask. We love you lots!
Thanks Andrea xo
Renee, I am sorry you’re going through this, how scary. I hope it all goes smoothly. xoxox
Thanks Alex. So far it has gone ok!
oh sweetheart, my thoughts and prayers are with you. From following your blog and reading your posts, you are a strong woman. YOU”VE GOT THIS!!
I know there is nothing I can say here to make this or your battle any easier or less frightening, but please know that you are being lifted up in prayer & hope.
I love your feisty spirit, and yeah girl, you are so gonna kick this Cancer’s ass, how dare that thing invade your body!!!
*hugs*
Thanks so much Darlene! It means a lot to have your support.
Your positive outlook is amazing! Cancer sucks but I have no doubt you will kick its Ass!! Sending you prayers and positive thoughts from the East Coast.
Thank you Jill! I will kick cancer in the ass 🙂
Oh honey. Cancer is a bitch and you will kick its ass. I’m in a bit of shock here, but let me know what you need and I’m on it. You’ve got a great attitude, and I know you have an awesome support network. Sending love and keeping you in my prayers! xo
Thanks so much Deb. The more prayers the better! xo
Renee I’m sending you a lot of love and strength, you are already showing so much of that already tho! I have no doubt you will kick this in the butt!!
Thanks very much Leigh-Anne
When times were tough for us, you were there to love, teach and care for our Tenny. We are here for you Renee. Now go kick some “hunny buns” ( line from Mulan.. Tenny’s favourite movie). Xoxoxo
Your support means the world to me, Michelle. xo
Kick cancer ass my beautiful bestie!!!!
Yes ma’am xo
You got this hun! Xoxo
Thanks Maya xo
Sending you light, love; and strength as you go through this.
Much appreciated Julia
Renee, I’m so sorry that you have go to through this, but you definitely have the right attitude and a your positivity and strength will help you get through this year! xoxox
Thanks Stacey! It’s a pretty shitty to have to go through but I’m looking forward to a healthy 2016!
Wishing you all the best. Kick cancer’s butt!
Thank you!
Adding my best wishes and positive thoughts for you and your family. May you find much encouragement and support on the toughest days and heal quickly.
Thank you Pamela. 12 days post my chemo and am starting to feel like myself again 🙂
Renee, love and light and healing! We’re your community, too! 🙂 We’ve got your back.
Thank you! I love this community and all the support I’ve received thus far as lifted me up so much
Renee. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. It’s an important narrative and you are so brave to share. Your beautiful kids are so lucky to have such a strong , courageous mom. May their smiles get you through the yuck days.
Thanks so much Mira. I’m lucky to have my kids 🙂 Their smiles and cuddles made those first few days post chemo much easier.
I’m so sorry to hear this, but I love your positive outlook. All the best to you.
Thank you Sheri
Hugs honey! You have so much to live for. You will beat this. You are in my thoughts and prayers and if there is anything I can do to help pls ask
Thanks Jenn!
Amazing post. You will kicks it’s ass!
Thank you Julie. I’m so happy that I’m sharing my journey with everyone
Hi Renee,
I hope you’ll remember me, it’s Ursula. A mutual old friend/colleague forwarded me your blog, I’m not on Facebook.
I just wanted to send you lots of love, strength, positive thoughts and hugs- you have always been one of the toughest cookies Ive ever known and if anyone can show this breast cancer who’s boss, it’s you. I hope we can reconnect 🙂
Always in your corner- wishing you speedy health xoxoxo
Cancer doesn’t know who it’s trying to pick on! You’ve got this. xoxoxo
Hi Renee
I stayed in Raslatt, Jonkoping the same time as your husband Sammy. Just read your blog and sending love and best wishes to you, Sammy, your little ones and family and friends. xxx
HI Renee….I found this post through SITS. I went through a cancer diagnosis 3 years ago (thyroid cancer) and today I am cancer free and doing well. You will get through this and be cancer free too so keep your chin up. You are absolutely right that it takes a village to kick cancer’s butt. I had an amazing village and it makes a world of difference. Allow others to help you when needed:-) I had a very dear friend who had breast cancer and when I was diagnosed she told me something that was very powerful to me. She said, “Cancer is not a gift, but it brings many gifts with it”. I found this to be so true so throughout my journey of surgeries and treatment and even now, as I still sometimes struggle with the after effects of my cancer, I always look for the gifts. You will have tough times and you made need a good cry and that is ok. After you allow yourself to feel down…..look right back up and see those gifts. They are what will get you through each day!! Big hugs to you:-)
Ah Renee, being a cancer survivor myself, it is all about the attitude and you’ve got it right. Remember, you will beat the crap out of this horrible disease and try hard to bear up during the bad times. You will become a much stronger, resilient person as a result who will be able to handle anything bad in the future. One day at a time and hopefully, the good ones will come sooner. All my love to you and your family.
Renee…you are so brave and courageous. I know you’ll beat this. Sending hugs and strength. xo
Renee – we don’t know each other but I wanted to send you hugs. I’m in the middle of dealing with thyroid cancer myself and at 36 didn’t think I’d have to face such a diagnosis either. You are clearly an amazing woman, wife, mother etc and you will beat this!
Renee ..keep up the great attitude..bing positive is exactly the key..we are all here for you
Love from Phoenix
Hi Renee. This “Lemon” will catapult you into a million life lessons that will enrich and empower you forever. Speedy recovery. You are surrounded by love and caring during your emotional growth spurt! Love, Ruth R
*Hugs* I have a friend going through the same thing right now… So, so sorry to hear. Keep on fightin’ the fight and kick Cancer’s ass!
Stay strong!! I can’t even imagine! Beth
sending you huge hugs and all my best wishes <3
I just wanted you to know I’ve been thinking about you.. and your family. I know Cancer over shadows every moment of everyday.. no matter the occasion, it is there.
I hope you can sense all the love and support from all of us.
Happy Easter to you and your Family.
Sending you much love on this new and unwelcome journey. Your positivity is wonderful and will no doubt take you far. xo
Oh, Renee, it’s sorry to read this. Cancer is the worst bitch of all, but you’ve got this!
Visiting from Mom Bloggers Club (Facebook). You will show that Cancers who’s in charge! All the best and sending prayers your way.
Sending you so many hugs and strength.
Renee, I am so sorry! I am sending prayers your way! You are going to kick cancer’s butt!
You are so strong. I’ll be thinking about you.
Xo
Thinking of you always Renee. XO
Renee I love how optimistic you are, you are so strong and will beat this! 2016 has so much in store for you!
Hugs! You are amazing and strong. You and your family are in my thoughts
Oh Renee – you are one VERY strong woman! Your positive outlook on this will help you WIN this fight! Hugs and positive thoughts coming your way!
oh Renee, sending you hugs and love and one big huge can of whoop ass! Stay strong hon!
Here’s to a KICK ASS 2016. (And a better than expected 2015!) Cancer sucks.
its a scary difficult time, but you can do it! Check out rethinkbreastcancer.com. A resource and community of young Canadian women facing very similar challenges. My blog, Idratherbshopping, might be helpful. I shared much of my journey right from diagnosis at 37 yrs with 2 young children also. kick ass!
I could have written this post! 3 young kids, diagnosed in February. No family history, completely out of left field. I just started chemo last week, and am prepared to be very aggressive. Kick ass!
Wow, a heck of a first post to find you with. You are amazingly strong. I love finding kick-ass women to read about. Show that cancer who is boss!!!!
Renee, thank you for sharing this post with us. Sending you HUGE hugs, my friend! Love you heaps and you WILL kick cancer’s butt, my friend!
So sorry for your diagnosis, Renee – but you will kick cancer’s *ss! My mother has managed to beat it 4 times so far and she’s still going like a human tornado, so I have every confidence that you will come out of it a winner too.
P. S. Found you via Christine @Life On Manitoulin
Sending prayer and Elmo to get you through this rough year and rush you into a new year of hope in 2016.
Sending you positive energy and hugs! Hang in and please lean on those around you for help and support. You are not alone. You got this.
Your BLOG is GREAT so….We’ve nominated your lovely blog for the ONE LOVELY BLOG AWARD. See the details on accepting your award here – http://www.whymoms.com/one-lovely-blog-award/. THANKS!
I found your blog through the Blogging Moms blog hop. I really love your blog!!! I’ll be coming back to keep up with your story! Praying for you!