I sometimes forget I have cancer

breast cancer young mom

Sometimes I forget I have cancer. It’s weird to write it and say it out loud. But it’s true.

Right now my life revolves around my chemo treatments. I’m halfway done which is amazing! 3 chemo treatments down and 3 left to go. After my treatment tomorrow I’ll be 75% done with chemo! I still have a long road ahead of me but I can’t wait to bid chemo adieu.

Chemo treatment #3

Chemo treatment #3

Going through chemo is really weird. I have 1 treatment every three weeks. I feel really shitty for 7-10 days after and then resume my life again only to then start this process all over again. My first three chemo treatments were made up of a combination of three different drugs. Starting tomorrow my next three treatments will only be one drug. The first three treatments had different side effects than the new drug that I will be getting tomorrow. One side effect that has been cumulative throughout all of this is the tiredness. Some days I am just so exhausted BUT (and there is a but) everyday I get out and do something.

And this is why some days I forget I have cancer.

When I feel good and get out I don’t focus on me being “sick”. I focus on feeling good, enjoying time with family and friends, enjoying doing something for myself and being “normal”. As I don’t need to take medication in between chemo treatments I’m not constantly reminded that this is now my life. It’s hard to find “normal” when you are going through treatments but I’m trying my darndest. I may not have the energy I had before to always be go-go-go but I’m still the girl who loves to do a lot of things and I’m trying my best to be able to take part. I usually do one outing a day and then come home and rest. It’s the perfect balance for me at this time.

 I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many people who truly love me. There is not a day that I’m without a plan. As I was telling a fellow blogger this morning, I have something to do everyday and if I don’t there are so many people who want to have brunch, lunch, coffee or visit with me that I always have something to do. It keeps my spirits up and makes me feel normal and not like I’m just the girl with cancer.

My mom and I enjoying a coffee together

My mom and I enjoying a coffee together

Having cancer has refocused my life into what’s important. As a young mom it’s so easy to get caught up in your kids that you forget about yourself. I know I did. Pre-kids I use to get weekly manicures, go to trendy restaurants and shop. Then I had kids and my life is about them. I’m happy it is but I forgot about myself too. I now stop to smell the roses, I sip my coffee and savour it, I enjoy lots of visits with friends just talking and hanging out, I read, I colour adult colouring books (if you don’t have one yet, they are AMAZING!), and  I eat without worrying about my weight.

I enjoy life.

My motto thus far has been that I won’t let cancer define who I am. I think I’m doing a pretty good job of that because I’m enjoying life so much that I sometimes forget I have cancer.

Comments

  1. Jovana Golubovic says:

    I can’t say this enough-you have no idea how truly inspirational you are! I wish you only the best Renee and I have no doubt that you will beat this, your strength and positive attitude are so contagious! I’m finally back at work now so please message me when you’re here so we can meet up! Xo

  2. Randi Gordon says:

    Renee, I haven’t been closely following your blog but it pops up in my newsfeed from time to time. Tonight was the first time I found out about what you’re going through & what a surprise that was. I have read a few of your posts & you seem to be handling this really well and remaining very positive. If you ever want to speak with someone about breast cancer, I can put you in touch with an awesome gal I know who has gone through this…. twice (once just recently)! She has spoken to a few ladies I know, going through the same thing. Keep your chin up and I will continue to follow your blog more closely. All the best, Randi (Jodi’s old roommate!)

  3. Maya Fitz says:

    I just love this! So lovely seeing you today. You’re always a bright spot in my otherwise crazy and hectic day. xoxo

  4. melissa Brauer says:

    Hi Renee, I like Randi just read about what is happening with you right now. I know by your outlook and positive attitude you will overcome this with flying rainbows (in your and peachs hair too)! Your family is lucky to have such a wonderful and strong lady in their lives. You truly are an inspiration :) hug

  5. mom2michael says:

    I love that you can sometimes forget you have cancer. Eat up this life and enjoy every moment, both now and after you kick cancer’s ass. You have an amazing attitude and strength. Keep moving, keep fighting. Big love! xo

  6. Brandy says:

    Still thinking of you.

  7. peady says:

    I think you are amazing for being able to truly live in the moment – when you are not undergoing chemo and doing all the things that go along with that. It sounds like you have good people surrounding you, too. Wishing you health and happiness now and in the future!

  8. Beautiful post! You are blessed to be surrounded by so many loving and supportive people. You are and inspiration to all those suffering. I admire your incredible strength!

  9. Praying for your health and patience during this horrible journey. I’m glad you can “forget” for a little bit and just be mom! Shared via Twitter @SensitiveMommy

  10. chancesmommy says:

    Thinking of you always, Renee! You are amazing and inspiring. Thank you for sharing with us.

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