My little bully

My So-Called Mommy Life

About 2 months ago Little Dude bit me. Then he bit The Hubster. Then he pulled Princess Peach’s hair. 

Houston we have a problem!

My little sweet boy has turned into a bully. 

At first it was just at home and usually out of frustration. He doesn’t have very many words so communicating with us is a little more difficult. He tries so hard but he only has a few signs. We try our best to communicate with him and him with us but he’s often frustrated.

So at first we were understanding. He’s trying to tell us something. Maybe he’s overstimulated? Excited? 

We started practicing being “gentle” and “nice”. Using gentle reminders of “our hands stay to ourselves”, “hands down” or “we need to be nice”. We practiced, and practiced. Not overkill at all. Just practicing being nice and gentle :)

Then it happened. I picked him up from daycare and I asked about his day. Then one of his teachers followed me outside of the classroom and explained that his day was rough. Very rough. He bit 3 kids in his class and when the teacher went to removed him from attacking a peer, he pulled her hair! I was mortified. My kid? Really? My kid is a bully. We never ever had any issues with Princess Peach biting us let alone hurting another one of her friends at daycare. So this was new territory for us. Honestly, I wasn’t surprised. If he was doing this at home, chances are it would transfer over to daycare. Then I broke it down into percentages. He attacked 33% of his friends and attacked 50% of his teachers. OY! 

We talked for a while about what we are doing at home and luckily they use the same language at daycare as well. So that was very reassuring. We also both agreed that his aggression is out of frustration and lack of language. Often when another child wants a toy he has, he doesn’t have the words yet to scream “no” so he uses his hands and teeth! As a teacher and behavioural therapist I never thought MY kid would be the one hurting other kids or us. 

Luckily, that was the only time that he attacked anyone at daycare. Since then he has had a clean record there. But not at home. His favourite person to attack is Princess Peach. Her hair is long and easy to grab. She screams so he knows he is getting a rise out of her.  We’ve tried giving him a timeout but as smart as he is, he thinks it’s hilarious. He stands wherever we put him but then he’ll try to run away or go back and hurt her again. Sadly, we can’t just ignore him when he does this as Princess Peach will get hurt if we just leave him. 

I know this will be one of the many hurdles we face parenting Little Dude. He is the sweetest little boy, but has an aggressive side that we need to curb asap.

So if you see us with some battle wounds you’ll know why.

Did you have a child that was aggressive? A biter? A Hiter? What strategies did you use?

Comments

  1. ah! Our boys are quite similar.. so I have a feeling this may be in my near future. We went through a minor issue with A1 but it fizzled as quickly as it made an appearance. Baby Boy doesn’t talk much so I think language is definitely the issue for us!

  2. Lauren says:

    Last week when I picked up L from daycare, my nightmare came true – he bit one kid and pushed down another!! It came out of nowhere, really. I was devastated and sad that my sweet, silly boy turned aggressive. But, it was his first day back at daycare after 5 days off (over xmas and boxing day, followed by the weekend). And I think he was acting out after having spent so much time with mama and dada. Fortunately, it was a one day thing. At home, we say “be nice” or “be gentle” when he starts to get a bit aggressive and it seems to work. He is learning more words every week now, and is able to better express himself.

    • mscmommylife says:

      You are lucky that it was a one day thing! Hope that never happens again. It’s so shocking to hear from their teacher this first time, isn’t it?

  3. piratemonkeymama says:

    I’ve got one too! And the hair pulling. And sometimes he pinches. I chalk it up to language frustration too. He’s bitten one grandmother and pinched another, though I’m his usual target. We’re really hoping it’s just a phase and that as his language develops it will stop. Our stern “no”s usually get us laughed at. I’m grateful that it’s not something he does very often but I worry that with his little brother on the way in a couple of months it will get worse before it gets better…

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