It could happen to any of us

If you don’t live in the GTA you probably aren’t aware of the horrific events that happened yesterday. A 3-year old boy named Elijah Marsh, dressed only in a t-shirt, pull-up and boots, walked out of his grandmother’s apartment around 4:00 am, and into the frigid cold. About -28 cold. After realizing at 7:30am he was missing a huge search ensued looking for the little boy. Devastatingly he was found in a neighbours backyard without vital signs. Later after arriving at the hospital it was announced that he had passed away.

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When I heard the news my heart sank. I was so upset for this family, the neighbours, the searchers, and our entire city who were all praying that this sweet little boy would be found ok. I just kept putting myself in their shoes. I have a 3-year old. That could very well be me.

But the nightmare I saw continue on online parenting forums blew my mind. Not in a good way. I was shocked, saddened and just generally upset of the judgments of this poor boys family from other parents. Where were this parents? Why was it with his grandmother? Parents were questioning how Elijah could open multiple doors. How was he able to leave the apartment in the first place. The suggestions that their doors weren’t properly locked and what products would make sure that a child could never open the house door.  Then came the suggestions that someone will be charged. What?! The judgements of this poor boys family infuriate  me. Why must in a families worst nightmare are we judging them?  I know I am a far from perfect parent. I make mistakes, I screw up, I do things I probably shouldn’t and then I learn from them. Sadly, it is an entire city who is learning from this horrible tragedy.

A horrible tragedy.

If you are a parent I’m sure there have been times that your kids have done things that you didn’t think they were able to do. The truth is kids are amazingly talented. Probably way more than you give them credit for. They figure out things that you probably couldn’t think they ever could. I know for me, Princess Peach blows my mind all the time. I didn’t think she could open the door until a few months ago she decided to open it on a whim. It took her less than a second and I freaked out.

I understand that when tragic events happen people want to rationalize them and to make sense of the entire situation. When it surrounds a child people might try even harder to scrutinize the events. But when it happens like it did to poor Elijah it seems like everyone has a comment to make, or an idea of what happened. But the reality is we never will know the entire story and a lock, a special latch, or judgements won’t bring that sweet boy back. All these judgements makes it harder for the family who is suffering an unimaginable loss.

There is no one to blame and no lesson to be learned from the loss of this little boy. Hug your kids a little tighter tonight and be grateful for what you have because as we all learned yesterday your life can change in a split second and it will never, ever be the same.

Rest in peace Elijah.

Comments

  1. dawn rader says:

    of all the blogs and posts I have read about this poor little boy and his family, yours really hit home…this family doesn’t need anymore negativity, just support, thank you for reminding us of precious time really is.

  2. Nadia says:

    I understand people feeling bad for the boy and trying to find blame and fault In the situation. However, this family will be going through the worst pain and they don’t need any finger pointing or more blame than they already probably feel. It’s so sad.

  3. Jackie Park says:

    This is so sad! In a time like this you’d think people would come together and mourn with the family. But instead the parents and the grandmother are being blamed for what happened—as if they’re not probably already blaming themselves right now. I have an 18-month-old and I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to her, whether or not it was my fault. But people blaming me for something I probably am already blaming myself for won’t help. Might even just make me go crazy.

    Condolences to the little boy’s family. :(

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